Her expertise includes mentoring, serving at-risk students and corporate training. A phone conversation or an email may be the most appropriate mode of communication, instead, depending on your circumstances. If you have a difficult relationship with your ex, revealing that you are dating may cause issues. It is better that he hears from you that you are dating, rather than from a mutual friend or your children. Allow yourself feel the pain of your loss and you'll find it easier to move on, according to HelpGuide. Do anything but focus on the situation. You are telling him for the sake of the children. Resist the urge to play detective or engage in conversation about your ex and his new flame. He may feel hurt, jealous or angry. Deal, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Arkansas, and cited on SmartStepfamilies. Call a friend and go see an action movie. Keep this conversation business-like. If painful feelings come up despite your best effort to become fully engaged in a Jackie Chan flick, be patient with yourself, advises psychologist Leslie Becker-Phelps in a January article in "Psychology Today.
He may feel hurt, jealous or angry. Be respectful, but also let him know that are looking for his approval. You are aware that you should tread lightly in bringing up this sensitive subject with your ex and taking your ex's feelings into consideration will go a long way. Deal, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Arkansas, and cited on SmartStepfamilies. Change Perspective Usually it's best to think positive, but in this case, focusing on the negative may help you to gain some needed perspective. Holding a master's degree in curriculum and Instruction, she has written training materials for three school districts. Call your cell phone provider and take care of that overcharge on last month's bill you've been putting off. You are telling him for the sake of the children. A phone conversation or an email may be the most appropriate mode of communication, instead, depending on your circumstances. Think about your ex's annoying habit of calculating exactly 15 percent of the restaurant bill before tipping or his refusal to listen respectfully to an opposing point of view and thank your lucky stars that it's not you who now has to suffer through the mortification of your ex digging through his pockets for change at the end of a meal. Telling him you are dating makes reality set in. You want to inform your ex, since you and he share the responsibility of raising your children together. Assure him that no one will take his place as the children's father. Prepare what you are going to say and keep to the facts. If you have a friendly relationship, call him up and ask that you sit down together to talk. Be Sensitive and Respectful Set aside any unresolved feelings you have about your ex. If possible, date when your children are with their father. Acceptance Cultivating a 'c'est la vie' attitude toward life can help you to move through this painful situation. If painful feelings come up despite your best effort to become fully engaged in a Jackie Chan flick, be patient with yourself, advises psychologist Leslie Becker-Phelps in a January article in "Psychology Today. You will do everything you can to minimize the effect your new guy has on them. Reassure your ex that you will not introduce your children to any dates unless there is long-term potential. Call a friend and go see an action movie. If a friend lets you know that she saw your former love and his Angelina Jolie look-a-like girlfriend at a concert Saturday night, let her know that that you wish them well and then change the subject. Don't Feed It After you've discovered your ex is dating another person, it's hard to resist checking social-media sites for new photos of the new couple's exploits. If this feels too painful, you may not have allowed yourself to fully grieve the end of your relationship. Mutual friends in the know may be forthcoming with details as well. After all, when you meet someone with long-term potential, that person will most likely spend a lot of time with the children you and your ex had together.
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