Obviously I had to help him with someone that made him happy. I shrugged, controlling my emotional response. This happened for weeks, if not months and no one said a thing — the press were oblivious, Luke seemed happy as ever and both the band and my magazine were at their peak economical values. Calum came over to me. One time when we were in New York Luke did break the trend. So I packed up to become a touring photographer for a few months. The boys stopped to talk to a few fans and I stayed near Luke, as I was used to. Well, all of us for that matter. I sat on the bed, next to all the bags — the make-up seeming so irrelevant now. I pretended to be working but when the rest of the band climbed on the bus I kept sneaking glances at Luke — he seemed more attractive now; the way his stubble emphasised his jawline and he was improvising on his guitar, pratting around and laughing. And I was forced to agree. It was when I was approached by Capitol management that it got weird. I never thought that the conclusion would present itself the next day. We have pictures of her with Luke! I need to leave this tour now. They were leaving for tour soon and I thought this would be my welcome break from pretending to be in a relationship but no. The look in his eyes when he talked about this girl broke my heart.
I forced myself to laugh. It would be long and I would be sad and tired. As soon as we stepped inside, I peeled myself out of it — absolutely soaked through — and tried to thrust it back into his hands and disappear as I usually did. They set up a meeting with my manager without telling me what it was about - I was completely lost. The only way I could see to try and get over this stupid crush was to avoid him at all costs. I have work, family; my boyfriend. If we hated each other it would be harder. We have pictures of her with Luke! Calum came over to me. The first part of this tour consisted of a ten hour flight from LA to London. Well, all of us for that matter. He covered his surprise well, only flinching for a fraction of a second before his hands found my hips, slipping round to my lower back and dipping into my back pockets. It was because he broke up with me, it was mostly because he broke up with me. I actually really like him. I was fuming but I had no choice. But it really made me realise how I look at Luke; how I feel about Luke. Then my secret long term boyfriend said he saw a change in the articles he read about Luke and I — the way I looked at Luke was the way I used to look at him. She stormed off to the end of the bus and he followed. The paps were more interested in me than the fans were. They were leaving for tour soon and I thought this would be my welcome break from pretending to be in a relationship but no. It was when I was approached by Capitol management that it got weird. One time when we were in New York Luke did break the trend. Calum moved everything to sit next to me. This happened for weeks, if not months and no one said a thing — the press were oblivious, Luke seemed happy as ever and both the band and my magazine were at their peak economical values. I was clearly nothing more than a professional lie to him and coming to terms with that absolutely tore me apart.
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